


Flesh

by pasunedame



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Doriath, F/M, First Age, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 17:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasunedame/pseuds/pasunedame
Summary: Melian, after Lúthien's return from Mandos, and after Elu's death.





	Flesh

Lúthien and Beren stand before her, before Elu, before the whole court.

The court has never been so packed; everyone has come to see the wonder that is their princess and her mortal beloved alive, once again. Melian supposes they look at Lúthien the way they had once looked at her, but this and other thoughts are merely whispers in the back of her mind.

She can only focus on Lúthien, on her daughter who is now irrevocably mortal. She remains the same in body and manner, but the Song around her has changed, and Melian has already started to grieve for her future death. 

Lúthien stands tall, gaze unwavering, the determination that drove her to join Beren is once again proven through her ordeal in Mandos. This is not the future she ever envisioned for her family, but Melian is humbled, both by her daughter’s tenacity and by Mandos’s decision, and through the bond between her and her husband’s minds she tells him so. 

He gives them his blessing, and they leave for Tol Galen.

*

Later, in their chamber, Melian stands before a mirror and contemplates the flesh she has shaped into being.

She has taken the forms of birds before, changing from one to the other, and even before she met Elu she has taken the form of the Children though rarely. But she had never taken one form for so long before. Elu found her in this body, and ever since she has remained in the same form.

The confine of flesh and blood dims her powers a little, but more than that, it gives her a deeper insight of the Children than she thought possible. Were it not for her assuming a fixed form, she would never have known the myriad of emotions the Children feel, nor the depth those emotions can reach. She would never have seen how these feelings, more than anything, drive their action. In assuming the Firstborn’s form, she gains a way to teach them what she knows about Eru and Eä, but at the same time she has brought herself down to their level, and this is the true price she has to pay.

When Elu enters their chamber, she throws her arms around him and kisses him with desperation, and his trembling hands are all the answers she needs.

*

Elu’s bloody form lies before her, and Melian can only stand frozen. The spirit has left for Mandos’s Halls, she knows this, but the body is _here_. The body that she knows so intimately, that has joined with her own countless times, the body that once housed the spirit of her husband. It is still here, lying on the floor like clothes discarded in hurry. 

She kneels, picks the body up, and cradles it in her embrace. The face is pale; the only colour left is red from splatter of blood. In the Halls of Mandos his spirit now roams, and should she goes there she will find him, but who is Elu without his silver hair and silver eyes? Who is Elu without his tall strong body? And is this shell still Elu, without his booming laugh, without his confident stride? Which one is he?

She looks at her own body, the flesh still warm, still bright with life pulsing inside. The colour is the same ivory as Elu’s, but now there is a contrast between their skins that was not there before. Once, she would not know the difference. Once, this body would be nothing but a passing disguise for her. Once she would think nothing of discarding it and changing it for another.

Mablung comes in. She half-listens to his report, feeling panic rises inside that has nothing to do with what he says, and orders him to do what he feels need to be done. He hesitates, lingers in the doorway, eyes pleading, but Melian does not know what else he wants, so she dismisses him. Then she looks at Elu’s body again, and with a cry, sheds her body and flees to Valinor. 

*

Later, later, only so much later does she realise what a horrid act of betrayal she had committed.


End file.
